Airhorn Lore!: A Timeline

This is a rundown of the major, non-comedy events that have taken place during our show. This is mainly our beef with the Newtown City Council and it's ultimate eruption into violence. For a timeline of our shows and who was on them, check out our shows page.

2023

November

Airhorn! debuts! Zach has a black eye!

We had our first Airhorn! at the Newtown Community Centre to an excited and already awesome audience. The evening was mostly positive, with one literal blemish on the night.

The inaugural host, Zach, took the stage in a black eye. He had been jumped, prior to the show, by the Newtown City Council. The council had tried to exert control on Airhorn, saying that there was a laughter budget of only a few laughs per hour. Zach was insistent that the show was going to have several laughs a minute, at least, and the audience deserved as much entertainment as we could give. Angered by Zach's advocating for the audience, a member of the council socked him, giving him a black eye.

2024

February

The Council overbooks the Centre with Yoga class

Airhorn's February show almost didn't happen, as a yoga class was booked in the theatre at the same time as our show. The teacher was understanding, and offered to hold her class at the same time as the show, on the same stage, saying it would not be a distraction. Multiple performers ended up joining the class, which ended up being quite a distraction.

It was uncovered that the council had messed with the calendar, causing the overbooking, in a hope of shutting down Airhorn.

July

Newtown City Council's website discovered

A continual frustration during Airhorn's run is the widely held belief that the Newtown City Council does not exist. Despite physical evidence(black eye) and shared experience(the yoga incident), many audience members still believed it to be a goof.

Zach started the show by proving the reality of the council with the reveal of their website: https://newtowncitycouncil.com. It is, in this webmaster's opinion, a pretty terrible looking and functionally useless site. It mostly consists of a feedback form and a mission statement for the Council, with their stated and explicit goal the takedown of Airhorn.

August

Airhorn! celebrity video

As a response to the council, current and former castmembers got together to make a viral response video. In a powerful and candid montage introduced by Lesa, the members of Airhorn all spoke of their intention to hold firm to the show, and to fight the council It ended with a simple request to the audience, and the world: "let us Airhorn".

September

Airhorn! cancalled with a cease and desist.

The September show, on paper set to be the biggest show the crew had done yet, was uncermoniously cancelled due to a Cease and Desist notice from the Newtown City Council. They were able to convince the community centre that we were an audio and visual nuisance with a show that was too bright, too hilarious, with too much kissing and dancing. All the posters we had put up where covered over by the cease and desist letter and the performs (some of which had come from overseas) had to be sent home.

October

Matty the intern visits (then ruins) the show

After convincing the community centre of the illegitimacy of the council's claims, Airhorn was able to return in October for a packed show. Zach's opening introduction was interrupted by a young, besuited man named Matty, who came as a representative of the Council. Zach realised that they had never seen the show, were ruining it from afar for no clear reason. He asked Matty to stay and actually check out the show.

Matty stayed, stonefaced with arms crossed, through the show's duration. At the end, he asked to be on stage. He thanked us for the invitation and said he was won over by our show and that the council was in the wrong. He offered his hand out to shake in an act of reconciliation. Zach, being naive and trustful, took Matty's hand, at which point Matty kicked Zach in the groin in a craven and deceitful act. The show ended in chaos, with Zach curled up in pain on stage and Matty exiting out the side door.

November

Scarehorn debuts!

As a surprise and welcome respite, we had an extremely SPOOKY November with the debut of Scarehorn. Featuring a cast of mostly ghosts, plus monster doctors and vampires and other assorted ghouls, and hosted by noted Maōri horror author Steven Kingi.

December

Council attacks audience members. Brawl challenge issued

December Airhorn was holliday themed, with warm and inviting sketches and a giant christmas present on stage. This holiday cheer was ruined, in the end, by the Newtown City Council who stormed the stage, made fun of the audience and pushed Zach. Two audience members then rushed the stage to defend the show. They, fortunately for us, turned out to be the local wrestlers Math Manic and Dev Kyro. Unfortunately for them, the Council sucker punched Math Manic. Chaos erupted again, with the entire cast coming out to scare the council off and defend our audience wrestlers. Zach issued a challenge to the Council, to meet up in March and end it once and for all in a big time brawl.

2025

February

Contract Signing

The council took up the brawl challenge and came on stage to issue a contract signing. Zach read through the contract briefly but, as he was trying to introduce the show, just signed it to keep everything moving.

This was a mistake. Throughout the night, the council interrupted his hosting to take away his guild card, issue him a revised visa, and show off their plans for the community centre. It turns out the contract put more on the line than we realized. Without his comedy guild card, Zach would be unable to perform comedy in the city. The revised visa made his residency in the country contingent on winning the brawl, and the contract included the council getting the community centre itself if they won. They planned on turning it into a Warehouse department store.

March

Fringe Fest Friday Night Fight Night! Mayor Endorses Airhorn! Awful Ketchup smell.

For the Fringe Festival, Airhorn held a double-stuffed two hour spectacular filled with stars and ending in a planned brawl between the cast and the council.

There were surprises throughout the night, with one of the biggest being a recorded endorsement from Wellington mayor Tory Whanau. She thanked our show, said it was bringing about a new golden age for Wellington, and told us, with leadership and gravity, that we must defeat the council. She said the mayor's office stood behind Airhorn 100% in our fight against the council.

The show ended with a brawl. Our wrestler audience members offered to represent Airhorn and brought a friend, the All New Zealand wrestling champion "The Beast" Jade Priest. Though we had a trio of wrestlers on our side, the actual brawl was intended to be an on-stage thumb wrestling event (in consideration of the centre and it's expensive video/lighting equipment). Unfortunately, the council escalated the fight immediately and attacked the wrestlers from behind. A for-real brawl broke out, with the council and wrestlers fighting down the aisles of the theatre, throwing chairs at one another. They punched each other all the way into the hall and into the performer's green room. Grayson Harvey, one of the dastardly council members, was thrown through a table and knocked out. At some point, food from the craft services table (mostly ketchup and bread) entered the fray, with wrestlers and councillors and cast members all spraying ketchup at one another. Matty was pelted on all sides by bread and drenched in ketchup, before LEsa and Zach dragged him back to the stage where Lesa got him locked into the Walls of Jericho, a signature submission hold. Matty submitted, and said that the council quits and will not bother us again.

The show ended in victory for Airhorna nd hopefully ushered in a new era of piece. Though the entire centre reeked of ketchup and we had to open all the windows to air it out.